Monday, January 3, 2011

judgement? why do we judge?

       Wow I am sitting here and can't believe another year has gone by it's Jan 4, 20 freakin' 11...phew...as much as I love the Holidays gotta say glad there done, it's like being in a SUGAR, GIFT GIVING, WRAPPING PAPER, SILVER TINSEL, BALL DROPPING COMA...now we become human again, like many write on there FB posts "Back to Reality" well I'd like to talk alittle about my reality.  Whoa another year gone by and I sit here and think about my age...39...when I think about it, for me, that's human years (no I'm not weird well maybe a little lol) but have you ever asked yourself? Do you feel your age? because I truly don't (maybe at the occassional getting up from a chair and hearing a crack, but other than that no)  sometimes when people ask me my age I can't help but giggle and say 39 because what I really want to say is "yes I believe in human years I'm 39 but in my inner child years I'm 25" but I don't...because don't want to get funny looks of "what?"
      The reason I titled this blog "judgement" is because in the last I'd say 5 months I feel I have truly put myself whole heartly out there, totally bare, totally vulnerable and truly me...felt alittle naked :D and I'd say to myself "just go for it already!!!!", "what are you waiting for?!"...then the judgement mind comes in...my own mind racing (the ego) "who do you think you are?", "everyone is laughing at you", "your stuff is a joke"...and I fight back everyday... you know what I refuse to leave this earth without at least trying, I would rather fail at something I love then live the rest of my life afraid of actually being seen.  I also have been guilty of not only judging myself but of others too.  I won't sit here and say I never have because I am human but going through a spiritual journey last year I started to realize and ask myself... "ok why are you judging right now?", and most of the time it's because I feel insecure at that moment myself and judging someone else deflects my issues, I know, crazy, that it is actually that simple.  It is so easy for anyone to judge someone else's life and say "if they would just do this, and they need to do and their life would be better" but yet we forget what we are going through in our own journey and to focus on learning and growing in our own life as the person you are judging is trying to do as well.  No one is perfect we are all trying to live the best with what we have and know...Listen I am not a Saint, it would be unnatural as a human being not to react to or judge another but I do feel being aware of what's going on in your own journey, your own life before we tear down someone would really surprise you... how judgement becomes empathy many of times for another.
        Ok so back to the age thing...what I mean by feeling 25 is that I feel young at heart, so I'm a late bloomer which I embrace, who's in a rush to get old anyway! ...  I feel when I say I'm 39... people expect you to act a certain way, or look a certain way but who made up these rules on how we should act at a certain age?... or what our lives should look like at a certain age?  reminds me of that song "who made you king of anything?" love that! so I say FORGET AGE, think twice be judgeing another and...Just LIVE!!!!!!!!

       I leave you with a final quote "As your understanding of life continues to grow, you can walk upon this planet safe and secure, always moving forward toward your greater good." by Louise Hay

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